Birth Story: Sedona Quinn Beagley

I don't know quite where to begin with this birth story because this little one cried wolf so many times leading up to the big day. The day before my birthday, we were out at Spitz with my parents for my birthday dinner when I started having contractions that were definitely more persistent and stronger than the normal Braxton-Hicks contraction, which I had been having since the second trimester. That night, Justin and I came home and got our hospital bags packed, car seat in the car, and were ready to go. By midnight, everything had stopped. This continued for the next two-ish weeks every couple of days or so until she actually decided to make her debut.
On her due date, October 30, I had a few people predicting that she was going to come on Halloween. I really did not want her to come that day for a few reasons. I really wanted to be able to take Cora trick-or-treating. I also didn't want her birthday to be on Halloween and have it be overshadowed for the rest of her life. I said that I was hoping she'd stay put until at least the 1st.
Halloween was a very busy, active day with Montessori Halloween parties, trick-or-treating at Justin's work, a visit to South Town Mall with a train ride, and more trick-or-treating around our neighborhood. I had several neighbors ask me when that baby was supposed to come and what I was gonna do to get her out.  One guy said, "She's gonna walk around all night trick-or-treating until she goes into labor." Cora tired of trick-or-treating pretty quickly so we headed home to chili and cornbread and put her to bed around 8 p.m., leaving our candy dish outside to the mercy of the neighborhood teenagers. I was texting a few of my friends and wrote this exact phrase, "At 12:01, I'm kicking her out." I headed to bed around 10 p.m.
At some point, I woke up needing to go to the bathroom and when I got there, I noticed a gush of fluid that definitely wasn't pee followed quickly by a contraction. I headed back to the bed and grabbed my phone. It was 12:07 a.m. I wrote my doula, Meagan, and said "You aren't going to believe this... Just woke up and went to the bathroom. I don't know if my water broke, but I had a gush of blood-tinged fluid." I sat there on the floor next to the bed laughing like crazy because she definitely had taken my threat of kicking her out seriously. Throughout the first two stages of labor, I continued to laugh off and on about that.  Meagan said she woke her husband up because she was giggling about it and had to leave their room.
Leading up to Sedona's birth, I did a lot of yoga and exercises aimed at getting her in a good position to come out. Cora's labor was very difficult because she was posterior and I was determined to not experience back labor this time around. Sedona was in a better position than Cora was, called ROA (right occiput anterior), but there was still a possibility she could turn posterior. I don't believe she ever did, but I still experienced most, if not all, of the labor in my back. It wasn't the same back tearing in half labor that I had with Cora, though.
I called my mom to come to our house since she'd be staying with Cora there while we were in the hospital. I continued working through contractions and double-checking the hospital bag. Justin applied counter pressure and used a makeshift "rebozo" on me since I was experiencing back labor. All this time, I'm texting Meagan. This had been going on for awhile with contractions every 3-4 minutes and Justin started getting really nervous. They had told us that we should head to the hospital at that point once they had continued for an hour. We were further away from the hospital this time and I think he really didn't want to have the baby come in the car. I wasn't nervous at all and was in no rush to leave for the hospital, but on his suggestion, I told Meagan that we were heading out.
Once in the car, I told Justin not to speed because it would make me anxious and I knew we had time to get there. Out on 146th south, I saw something in the road, but couldn't quite make it out and just said to Justin, "There is something in the road." He slowed down as we approached and we noticed a deer lying in the middle and another on the side of the road. They both were kind enough to move out of the way and we hit the freeway. Once on the freeway, I realized I didn't know where my phone was so we turned back around to the house, managing to get behind a dump truck working construction going roughly 2 mph and I'm breathing through a contraction. Justin was so frustrated. We got home and Justin headed in only for me to find my phone had fallen underneath my seat in the car. We headed back out.
We got to the hospital around 3 in the morning and met up with Meagan. I was very calm and could tell that things had slowed down a little, but there we were. We walked up to triage and proceeded to wait forever for anything to be done. Finally, they came in to check if my water had broken or not to find out that it had and that there was meconium in it, once again risking me out of trying for a waterbirth according to the University's guidelines. They did an ultrasound to check baby's position, put her on the monitor, took some labs, but otherwise mostly left me alone. Once they were sure that it was my water, they went ahead and admitted me to labor and delivery. I should mention that my water never actually fully broke, it just kept gushing out at odd times, sometimes during a contraction, sometimes not.
I walked over to labor and delivery and baby was hooked up to continuous monitoring since there was meconium and they needed to check to make sure she wasn't in distress. Justin wasn't feeling well and was very tired so Meagan and I convinced him to lie down and take a nap while things were still pretty calm. The midwives on call came in to talk with me. They asked me if I was wanting to be checked and I said that I was because I wanted to see where I was at. Because of circumstances with my previous labor, I was hoping to avoid having to get an IV. I received an IV with Cora because I was GBS positive and needed antibiotics during labor. I found out that I was GBS positive again, but was given a different option, which is called risk-based protocol, meaning that you only receive IV antibiotics if your water has been broken for more than 18 hours or you have a fever. That was my plan and I was reassured time and time again by the midwife I regularly saw that it was a completely acceptable option, even according to the CDC. However, when the midwives came in, apparently they didn't get the same memo and started pushing IV antibiotics and suggested that while I was not going to have them that they not check me to avoid potentially introducing bacteria. They also mentioned that my labor had slowed down quite a bit and didn't want to check me because they were suggesting that I would most likely need to have pitocin to speed up my labor because of my water breaking and meconium being present. This was incredibly discouraging to me and I decided to think about what I should do.
After they left the room, I spoke with Meagan about it and she reminded me that these midwives have never seen me labor before so they couldn't possibly know how far I had progressed. She had seen me labor before and since I labor well, she thought that I was further into it than they were suggesting. She said that it is completely normal to arrive at the hospital and for it to disrupt labor and slow it down. She thought it would pick up and I'd have the baby sooner rather than later. It was around 4 or 5 in the morning at this time. While we were talking, a pediatrician came in to talk to me about the IV antibiotics. I told her that I was open to the conversation, but I needed to think and didn't want to have the conversation right then. After she left the room, I spoke with Justin about it and ultimately we decided that we felt more comfortable with going ahead with getting the antibiotics. We requested that they send in anesthesiology to place the line since at Cora's birth, the nurse who attempted it blew my vein. Once the antibiotics were going, it really seemed that labor had picked back up, contractions were coming faster and stronger. I was annoyed with the IV in my arm, but it wasn't as uncomfortable as it was with Cora.
One of the things I was insistent on with this birth was that I was going to be an active participant so I didn't just lay on the bed and let labor happen to me. I got into different positions, I stood up, I used a birth ball, I got up to go to the bathroom and sat on the toilet backwards (so weird, but apparently it helps...). I drank lots of water so I could avoid having to have IV fluids. For the most part everything was going well and I made sure to keep my thoughts positive. I was especially trying to block out the idea of having to have pitocin to speed things up, as that is one of my bigger fears. During all of my yoga sessions leading up to the birth, I had come up with a mantra to keep in mind while I labored. Relax. Accept. Enjoy. I kept repeating that to myself whenever things would get hard. Meagan and Justin worked their magic with counterpressure and emotional support as I moved about the room.
Around 7 a.m. the midwives changed shifts and Abby Rizk, CNM came in. Upon seeing me, she thought that I would probably be having the baby in the next few hours. Since I had had the antibiotics, she checked my dilation and I was at a 7 and baby was in a 0 station. I don't remember what she said my effacement was at that time. I was encouraged by this and knew we were not that far out. Labor was getting harder and harder, but I was still trying to stay positive. However, I was getting very tired. The contractions were so close together that it was impossible to rest much in between them. After awhile, she checked me again and I was only at an 8.
Things get kind of fuzzy around here because this is where things really got difficult and I'm not sure of all the details. I started having an insane urge to push during contractions and they told me to blow out my lips to keep myself from pushing. I was very insistent that I knew where Justin was during this point and would sometimes squeeze his or Meagan's hands as hard as I could during contractions. I started using nitrous oxide (Call the Midwives "gas and air" :-D ) during contractions, which doesn't take the pain away, but distracts and relaxes you. At some point, Abby decided that she thought I was dilating to a complete when I was contracting, but not in between. She decided to check my cervix during a contraction to see if that was the case. Upon doing this, she discovered that there was still a forebag of waters that hadn't broken - even though I had been leaking amniotic fluid all night. During the next contraction, she broke that bag of waters. I still was not reaching completion after some time so the midwife again checked me during a contraction where she discovered that I just had a lip of cervix and manually stretched it for me to reach completion. I have no idea how long this whole process took, but it was probably the most painful experience of my entire life and it wasn't over yet. In between contractions, I just kept saying how tired I was and that I just wanted her out. Just as I was asking why I was still on my back (having to be in the position for her to check and manipulate my cervix), I started having another contraction and the midwife told me to push as hard as I possibly could. I definitely felt her crowning this time where I hadn't felt it with Cora because of the pain in my back. She then told us that the baby's shoulder was stuck and had to manipulate her to move it past my pelvis. I wanted to move onto my hands and knees at this point because I had read in one of my birth books that the best way to move a baby whose shoulder is stuck is to get onto your hands and knees, but I experienced another contraction and she asked me to push again.
I remember when giving birth to Cora that pushing was a relief and it was over so soon. Pushing was fast and furious this time too, but it was absolutely excruciating. When she finally was out, she was placed upon my stomach where I kept asking, "Is she okay? Is she okay?" Justin cut the cord and they handed her off to the pediatrician team to look her over. While she was over at the table, they were waiting for the placenta to come and apparently I was bleeding a lot. Abby kept pushing on my stomach as hard as she could. It was very painful. I had wanted the placenta to come out naturally, but because of the bleeding, they suggested starting pitocin. Prior to leaving the labor and delivery room, my bleeding was still not under control and I was given an injection in my leg.
Sedona's Apgars were good and after LOTS of suctioning, she was handed back to me where she promptly latched on and started breastfeeding. All of the trauma of the previous couple of hours forgotten for the moment. I'm not sure exactly how long active labor was, but all in all, it was a pretty quick experience. There are many things about Sedona's birth that were incredibly empowering, but some other things that I have a little frustration with.  I am very proud of how I handled this birth and am much more convinced of my strength when it comes to what I want and handling pain. Sedona is wonderful and breastfeeding has been a cinch this time around. She is quite the little piggy and loves to eat, eat, eat.
Recovery so far has been much easier and I had a smaller tear this time as well. I have had a ton of help with my mom retiring as she's been at my house since we left for the hospital. I am feeling mostly back to normal and am having to remind myself to take it easy and just let recovery happen slowly. Sedona is doing well and so far is showing no signs of injury to her shoulder or arm and was only slightly jaundiced upon leaving the hospital. She was back at her birth weight at day 4 and my milk had already come in.

I was in labor for almost exactly 10 hours. Sedona Quinn Beagley being born at 10:09 a.m. on November 1, 2018 bigger than her sister at 7 pounds, 7 ounces and 19 inches long.

13 weeks, baby #2

How far along? 13 weeks today.

Total weight gain/loss: 7 pounds up. I have had to keep my stomach full at all times in order to avoid feeling sick/throwing up.

Maternity clothes? I still fit in most of my prepregnancy clothes and maternity clothes are a little baggy, but I prefer to be comfortable so I'm home I'm in leggings and a tank and out I'm usually in maternity jeans and the top may or may not be maternity.

Stretch marks? None new. Old ones are still silvery.

Sleep: Not sleeping well at all between being uncomfortable and Cora waking.

Best moment this week: Heard the baby's heartbeat for the first time today. 

Have you told family and friends: Yup, we're public as of last week.

Movement: Nothing yet, shouldn't for at least a few more weeks.

Food cravings: Bugles, Mountain Dew, Pickles, Pho. There are others, but I can't remember. I didn't have a lot of cravings with Cora, but I've had some pretty much daily with this one.

Anything making you queasy or sick? I can't even open the fridge. Not because it's dirty, but because the food smells kill me. Sometimes even looking in the direction of the kitchen is enough to set me off. Do not mention broccoli. (GAG)

Have you started to show yet: Yes, pretty defined baby bump.

Leakage: Nope.

Gender prediction: Boy.

Labor Signs: Definitely not.

Belly Button in or out? In, for now.

Wedding rings on or off? On and still loose.

Happy or Moody most of the time: Happy, though this week that was somewhat of a struggle.
 
Weekly Wisdom: Even if you don't want to, get up in the middle of the night to pee. I'll explain more below.

Milestones: Hearing our baby's heartbeat.

Hello, hello! I wanted to do a better job this time of keeping track of this pregnancy. I saw this weekly questionnaire I'm going to try and remember to do. I might edit for future weeks for certain things that are just redundant.

So major happenings these last couple of weeks... and this might get a little detailed. Cora's pregnancy was not super easy in some ways, but was absolutely incredible in others. I suffered severe morning sickness, throwing up around 6 times a day, until I was about 7.5 months along and still threw up occasionally from there. At 36 weeks, I had a severe allergic reaction that led doctors to believe I had this extremely rare pregnancy disease that could be very bad for baby. Luckily, it was just an allergic reaction and it went away. The birth was hard, but so, so incredible.

Now we're here. In the beginning, I thought this baby was gonna give me a break. I've had morning sickness, but usually in the evening and as long as I've done a good job all day of keeping my stomach full, not much puking. I generally puke once every 2-3 days. I can handle that, but then the stomach pain started. I developed an umbilical hernia from Cora's pregnancy and during these episodes, it felt like it was trying to escape outside of my body. Severe pain under my ribcage in my back as well, and it would kind of move all over the place. Diagnosis: Trapped Gas. Cure? Do not eat cruciferous vegetables, apples, bananas. Take probiotics and drink lemon water. Episodes would happen every couple of days to maybe once a week. Okay, I can deal.

About two weeks ago, I had the odd sensation when I was trying to relieve myself that something was coming down in my vagina. I was alarmed so I contacted my midwife and was seen. She saw a lowgrade rectocele, but nothing of concern. A few days go by and my pelvic organs are literally trying to escape my body through my vagina. I thought the worst... Pelvic organ prolapse. How do you give birth to a baby when your organs are trying to exit your body?!?! None of this made sense because I was part of a very extensive research study regarding the pelvic floor during and for a year after Cora's birth. After all their testing and measuring, it was determined that my pelvic floor was just as strong as it was before I had Cora. No issues. So why am I here?

Another issue I had been having was that it was difficult for me to go to urinate, but usually I'd get there. After a few times, my bladder might even feel empty. The was going of for about a week. And then yesterday.... oh yesterday. I woke up at 2 in the morning and went to the bathroom. Didn't feel like I got everything, but there you go. Woke up for the day around 7:30 and could not pee. Okay, if I move around for a bit, I'll be able to go. Not a big deal. 10 a.m. cannot pee.  Go to get groceries, come home - cannot pee. Put Cora down for her nap. Try cat/cow, heart to earth pose, downward dog, inversion table - nothing works and the pressure is building like crazy. It has been 12 hours since the last time I went #1. I contacted Justin and he came home to watch Cora and 

I headed to the Instacare. My phone is broken so I have no GPS, get lost on the way and have to stop at the Harmons to ask where the Instacare is. Get there, they make me wait 30 minutes for a jerk of a doctor (demeanor) to come and tell me not that they can't help me, but that they won't help me because I'm pregnant and might need an ultrasound (I didn't). So he told me that I had to go to Lone Peak Hospital. I burst into the argriest, ugliest tears ever. Drive over to Lone Peak Hospital in tears because I'm so pissed off about the way I was treated at the Instacare and the fact that now I'm looking at a much bigger bill.

At Lone Peak, I get admitted almost immediately, but I still wait probably 45 minutes or so for them to finally put a Foley catheter in me and relieve my bladder. They emptied a liter of fluid out of me. It had been 15 hours since the last time I peed despite continuing to drink. The nurse was trying to joke with me. "You're not our typical urinary retention patient. Usually it's a 75yo male with an enlarged prostate." I didn't really think it was funny. Anyway, after blood work, they sent me home with a fun little pee bag strapped to my leg with directions to followup with my midwife the next day.

I got an early appointment this morning. What was decided is that since my uterus in its natural position is tilted "the wrong way", in it's progression to get above my pubic bone and face "the right way" it caused ALL of the above problems. I don't have digestion issues, my pelvic floor is of normal tone with no rectoceles or cystoceles, and I should be able to urinate normally. Yesterday, was just when it was making it's final journey and it was sitting on top of my urethra making it impossible to urinate. She removed the catheter and sent me home with directions to drink a ton and pee a lot.

I've been doing just fine since having it removed. I feel like a new woman. Hoping things are smoother sailing from here on out. 

Birth Story: Miss Cora Carolina

This is going to be long and nobody has to read it, but for my sake and the sake of documenting, I'm going to write as much as I can.

I had a lot of fears going into the birth of our child. I was very afraid of being induced and therefore having contractions that I couldn't handle, having to get an epidural, and ultimately needing to have a c-section.  I am kind of a "worst-case scenario" type person where I assume what I don't want to happen is going to happen and then am pleasantly surprised when things go the way that I want them to.  It definitely isn't always the best attitude to have, but it is some kind of weird coping mechanism I have developed over the years.

Sunday evening, March 13, my heart started racing after going to the bathroom and noticing that I was losing portions of what appeared to be my mucus plug.  It doesn't seem like a lot of people know what that is, but prior to your bag of waters breaking, you lose a plug that has been keeping your cervix closed throughout your pregnancy.  Many women never notice it happening or it happens all at once during labor.  I tried not to get too excited about it as a first time mom labor could still be a week away.

Monday, March 14 was a day that I was really looking forward to not being at work for.  My friend, Meghan had guessed this as my due date in our office poll in an effort to save me one more Monday where everyone really noticed and made comments that I was there.  The day at work went by largely uneventfully.  I had a midwife appointment at the end of the work day where, since I was past my due date, she checked me.  I was -3 station, 80% effaced, and 1 cm dilated.  Nothing too terribly exciting as I still had a long ways to go, but progress is progress.  That evening, I took a long nap on the couch and woke around 7:30 p.m. to some pretty strong contractions.  I pulled out my contraction timer app on my phone and started timing them.  Justin and I went to Cafe Rio to get tostadas and I just worked through the contractions.  They were strong, but not unmanageable. and were sporadic.  They were anywhere from 10-15 minutes apart, always lasting about a minute.  I had a few that were closer together at about 8 minutes apart, but they really didn't seem to be progressing.  I texted my doula, Meagan, to let her know about the contractions just in case I ended up needing her to come over in the middle of the night.

We went to bed that night and I barely slept, waking every so often to deal with and time a contraction and then falling back asleep in between.  At about 5 in the morning of March 15, I told myself that if the contractions continued at 6 a.m. when it was time to go to work, I would stay home.  I managed to fall asleep at this point and when my alarm went off at 6 a.m. got up and started getting ready for the day.  The contractions had not come back.  I went to work and started going about my day.  A coworker excitedly exclaimed that I was still there and teased me about going into labor at work.  He told me, "you just let me know who I have to call...."  I laughed it off thinking I was still at least a few days out from having this baby.

Around 9 a.m., I headed over to Starbucks with a few of my coworkers.  While there, I started having contractions again.  I silently pulled out my contraction timer and started keeping track.  In the beginning, they seemed the same as the night before.  They were 6-8 minutes apart, lasting a minute, but were largely sporadic.  I just kept going about my day.  The contractions were different, however, in that they were so strong that I had to concentrate on each one.  They were so strong that they made my eyes water and took my breath away.  Around 10:30, myself and another coworker, Becki, walked over to the pediatric ophthalmology clinic at Primary Children's to get some water and to talk to Dr. Hoffman.  Before heading in, I paused outside the clinic asking Becki to wait a minute.  I didn't want people to see me struggling and have them comment about me having the baby soon.  Becki grinned at me and said, "Oh girl, you need to go home."  I shrugged her comment off and went into the clinic once the contraction was done.  Dr. Hoffman was so excited to see me.  He said, "Thank you for being here today!" and gave me a list of things that he needed accomplished that day.  After leaving the clinic, I again paused on the bridge heading back to the Moran.

I stopped at my friend's desk on my way back to mine and showed her the contraction timer to ask her what she thought.  I still didn't believe that I was actually in labor and figured that they were probably just going to stop.  She told me that she thought I probably should head home. I went upstairs and got a turkey sandwich, knowing that I really needed to eat something.  The contractions were strong enough at this point that I felt really nauseated during each one so I was only able to get through half of the sandwich.  I was texting my doula and she asked if she could call.  She also said that I should probably go home and told me that she was in Bountiful and could come to my house at a moment's notice if I needed her.  She said the nausea and pain in my back was a sign that the baby was posterior and it would probably be a good thing to try and work to turn the baby.  After the call, Becki came back over to my desk to check on me and again told me that she could take care of anything that came up and that I should just go home. At this point, I headed over to my manager's office and told her that I needed to go home.  She asked me what was going on and through tears, I told her that my contractions were about 6-8 minutes apart.  She asked me if Justin was coming to get me, but I told her that I could make it home.  I wasn't crying because of the contractions at that point, but just because I was so emotional about the whole thing.  However, I still didn't believe that baby was actually coming that day.

I realize that it seems counterproductive to go home when you work on campus of the hospital you are delivering at and you think that you might be in labor, but I didn't want to go in and risk them telling me I wasn't progressed enough to be admitted.  Also, I was concerned that the more time I spent in the hospital, the more time there would be for interventions.  It made more sense for me to labor for as long as I could in the comfort of my own home.

I called Justin as I was leaving work.  He was at Buffalo Wild Wings for a company lunch and had already ordered.  He told me later that some of his coworkers had told him to just go to lunch in their car, but he had insisted that he take his own.  Good thing,  :-)  I also called my mom and asked her to come get Fievel and Ellie from our house.  During the car ride home, I put on my Hypnobabies track, Birthing Day Affirmations.  Justin and I arrived home at the same time.  We spent the next little while timing contractions and doing a few household chores.  Soon though, the contractions got worse and Justin applied pressure to my back during them and I just laid on the bed in between each one.  We continued to listen to the Birthing Day Affirmations.  I hadn't switched to the next track because I still was not convinced that I was actually in labor.

After a while, I had Justin call Meagan to come to our house.  When she got there we worked through some more contractions and used a Rebozo to "sift" my belly in a effort to get her to turn.  At some point, we realized that my contractions had been at the magical 4-1-1 (4 minutes apart lasting a minute for an hour) for about 2 hours.  Meagan suggested that we go to the hospital at this point and get checked as she felt that I was creating a mental block for myself because I was so concerned about when we should go.  I didn't want to be in transition in the car, but I also didn't want to be sent home.  We left for the hospital around 3:30 p.m.  Contractions in the car were not fun, but were manageable.  Justin would apply pressure to a pressure point on my hand during each one.  I was still pretty calm in between contractions and was almost convinced that they were going to send us home.

When we got to the hospital, the valet was already closed despite it not being time for it to be closed so Justin parked the car out front and walked me in.  There were plenty of wheelchairs by the door, but I really had no interest in sitting down.  We went to Triage where they checked me.  I was dilated to a 3+.  They did a non-stress test where I was hooked up, monitoring baby's heartrate and my contractions.  The beds in triage are certainly the types of bed that they would have in hell.  They are nothing more than a stretcher.  It was difficult working through contractions having to be on my back.  After about an hour, the nurses came back and checked me again.  At this point, I was a 4.  They contacted the midwife on call to find out whether or not to admit me.  Since I was GBS positive and would require antibiotics every 4 hours during labor, they decided to admit.  They also did an ultrasound at this point to confirm baby's position.  She was indeed very much sunny side up (posterior). One of the triage nurses tried to put an IV in my left hand, but was unsuccessful and I could feel the blood running down my arm and fingers.  If you know me, you know that I have never handled blood very well.  I was fully aware of what was going on with the IV, but I told myself that I couldn't be afraid of this because I knew they were going to have to try again and the fear would only make it worse for me.  I kept my gaze averted and just continued to listen to the track that Justin had playing out loud in the room.

After the failed IV attempt, I walked over to the Labor and Delivery unit across the hall.  Once there, a nurse put an IV in my right forearm and I was again tied to the bed for awhile.  Justin and the doula continued applying counter pressure to my knees while the antibiotics were administered and baby was monitored.  I got antibiotics 3 times during labor.  I finally had Justin switch the Hynobabies track to Easy First Stage, accepting that baby was actually coming.

The University of Utah recently started a waterbirth study and I had signed up so I started being more and more pushy about getting in the tub.  They eventually started to fill it and I was able to unhook from the IV and get in.  I'm not really sure how long I labored in the tub for.  It was during this time that I started to say "I wish I knew how much longer this was going to take."  Justin had brought his swimming suit and got in the tub with me.  At some point, the midwife, Sarah, came in and told him that it was against hospital protocol for him to be in there with me, but that she was going to overlook it for the time being.  The water provided some relief from the contractions, but not the miracle cure that my Hypnobabies class and other people had made it sound.  I don't know if this is because Cora was posterior and all of my labor was in my back.  Being in the tub also put me in an awkward position for Justin and Meagan to apply counter pressure.  I'm not really sure how long I was in there, but after awhile I needed to use the restroom and wanted to get out.

I decided to go back to the bed leaning with the head of the bed up.  Justin placed a picture frame that had a picture of Fievel and Ellie on one side and my family on the other in front of me as something for me to focus on.  They checked me at some point and I was dilated to a 9, but baby was still high in my pelvis at a -3 station.  The back labor was killer and I didn't feel that I was coping very well.  Hypnobabies still played in the background and while I found her voice very calming and soothing, I found trying to use it practically during labor was really difficult for me.  It was hard to follow her instructions when I was in the thick of things.  While laboring this way, my water broke.  I remember in the back of my mind having some small sense of embarrassment as I knew Justin, Meagan, and the midwife were all behind me.  I asked Justin later if he had gotten splashed, but fortunately, I was covered between the hospital gown and a blanket so no splashing took place :-).  After my water broke, they checked me again and I had digressed back to a 7 and baby was still really high up in my pelvis.  At this time, I really started to lose it and didn't feel like I could keep going.  I never once asked for an epidural, but instead kept saying "I can't do this anymore. Please."  I remember the midwife asking me how I was managing my pain and I just kept shaking my head.  It was going through my head that this was going to go on for awhile and then I was going to "push for 6 hours" before the baby would come out.  They were asking me if I was feeling any pressure anywhere but my back, but it was just all consuming.  I couldn't feel anything else.  I was convinced that she was never going to come out.

I got back in the tub and labored for awhile.  They informed me that I had risked out of being able to birth in the water because when my water broke there was some meconium in it.  I was okay with that though as I didn't really feel the water helped that much.  There was for awhile a small sense of calm as I looked at the picture of Fievel and Ellie and my family and the tired and calm faces of Justin, the midwife, and Meagan.  This was probably the only part of labor that I somewhat enjoyed.  I remember joking with Justin about Fievel and Ellie's reactions to the baby.

After getting out of the tub and laboring in the bed for awhile, the midwife suggested we put a monitor in to see if my contractions were strong enough to bring baby down.  If not, they would give me pitocin to strengthen the contractions.  This idea was terrifying to me for two reasons.  One, I didn't think I could possibly handle stronger contractions and two, it would result in me getting an epidural.  She wasn't going to come out and ultimately, after all this hard work, they would send me for a c-section.  Just as the midwife was going to put the monitor in, she checked me one last time and I had miraculously dilated back to a 9 and was completely effaced.  Cora was engaged in my pelvis at a 0 station.  I labored for a while in the same bent over position on the bed.  Meagan got the Rebozo out and continued trying to sift my belly to get Cora to turn.  I had a 4 minute long contraction at one point.  This is when they think that she finally corkscrewed around so that she could come out the way she is supposed to.   I stopped saying that I couldn't do this anymore and instead just said "I just need a break.  Please."  They brought out the squatting bar for the bed, telling me that it was time to push her out.  Justin put out the "Pushing Baby Out" Hypnobabies track.

I still don't quite understand how it all happened because I never felt contractions in my stomach at all and the only pressure I continued to feel was in my back.  At one point, the midwife told me to reached my hand down to feel her head and I was so confused by the whole thing because I was still convinced that she wasn't going to come out.  I never felt the so-called "ring of fire" that everyone talks about of baby's head crowning.  The midwife told me that my baby was almost here, just two more contractions and she would be out.  I remember having 4 contractions and I was mad that she had told me it would only be two :-P.

I only pushed for about 40 minutes and little Cora came into this world.  Justin said his first impression of her was that she was long and blue.  The midwife milked the cord and handed her off to the waiting team to be assessed.  She had Apgar scores of 8 and 9.  They suctioned her mouth and we heard our little girl's first cry.  While she was on the table, I asked two questions.  Does she have hair? and is she a ginger?  I also made sure that she was in fact a girl because I had this ridiculous fear in the back of my mind after everything we bought and were given that she would turn out to be a he.  :-P Both Justin and I marveled at her perfect little head, seeing how we had seen some birth videos with babies with really strangely shaped heads.  Shortly after, they put her on my chest and we stayed like that for about two hours before we were transferred to the Maternal and Fetal Care Unit via a wheelchair.

This was definitely the hardest thing that I have ever done, but also the most rewarding.  There is no way that I could have done it without my doula Meagan and Justin.  They worked tirelessly and put just as much effort in as I did.  The midwife and nurse were also incredible and provided a lot of counter pressure in order to give Justin and Meagan small breaks here and there.  I felt SO incredibly loved and supported by everyone involved.  My love, appreciation, and respect for Justin grew by incredible bounds going through this experience with him, as well as watching him interact with Cora moment by moment.

I felt like the Hypnobabies course was really good for us to take and I do feel like the tracks helped calm me during labor, but ultimately above all I would recommend to others that want to go unmedicated to get a wonderful doula and have a birth partner that is highly supportive.

10 hours of prodromal labor, 6 hours of pre-labor, 20 hours of active labor, and 40 minutes of pushing: she is here and she is perfect!

Cora Carolina Beagley 6 lbs 13.9 oz, 19 inches long born at 4:39 a.m. on March 16, 2016.

Pregnancy: Miss Cora Carolina

I haven't posted on here in a really long time, but this seemed like the easiest format for what I wanted to do. I wanted to write down the story of how little Cora came to into this world. I wanted to start out by documenting my pregnancy.

Justin and I got pregnant after 6 months of trying, 3 months of sporadic fun and 3 months of a concentrated effort. In no way would I want to lessen the struggles that people go through that experience infertility, but the disappointment of not being pregnant month after month is definitely heartbreaking. During the time I spent trying to get pregnant, I became an expert on all things fertility, driving Justin to near insanity, I'm sure. The morning of July 15, I woke and took a pregnancy test because my BBT was still at a peak after 15 days, which was the limit I set for myself to wait to take yet another pregnancy test. I used an "internet cheapie" test and it came back positive. Frantic, I ran out to the car to grab one of the First Response Early Result tests that are quite a bit more expensive to confirm, hardly daring to believe it to be true.

When that came back positive, I had to tell someone. I had planned out the best way to tell Justin that I was pregnant with the "New Dad" Willow Tree Figurine.

However, that didn't go as planned as I burst into our bedroom saying "Justin, I'm pregnant." seconds later. Later that day at work, I still collected the figurine and brought it home to him. We went to Cafe Niche that night and enjoyed one of my last meals before morning sickness hit hard. Justin and I had decided to wait to tell people that we were pregnant until I was 12 weeks along. Unfortunately, that didn't quite go as planned. The morning sickness hit hard at just 6 weeks and was unbearable and obvious that something was going on with me. Also, we had a planned camping trip with a group of friends where it would be very obvious that something was going on if I didn't show. We broke the news to my parents and Justin's and then I gave him the green light to tell his friends over the weekend. We ended up announcing when I was 10 weeks along.

My "morning sickness" lasted for about 7 months all day and night and even up to 8 months, I would have moments where I would suddenly become very sick and throw up everything I ate. It was not fun, but I was very happy to be pregnant and besides feeling ill felt relatively well physically my entire pregnancy. In total during my pregnancy, I missed 3 days at work. It was NOT fun, but the maternity leave will be worth it.

At 36 weeks, I woke up at 2 in the morning with my whole body itching like crazy. It seemed to come in a wave down my body starting with my head and moving to my ears, my chin, my neck, my torso, my stomach and it would just cycle. I went to the midwives the next day and was diagnosed with a rash of pregnancy called Pemphigoid Gestationis. This is a 1 in 80,000 disease and basically what happens is that your body attacks the collagen that is in your placenta (and in your skin) which causes the reaction. It may appear as a hive-like rash, but then develops into blisters. Some of the side effects of this are preterm birth, low birth weight, placenta failure and low amniotic fluid. I had to have an non-stress test to check on the placenta and my amniotic fluid, as well as monitor baby's heartrate. Fortunately, Cora passed with flying colors. Otherwise, they would have induced me by the end of that week. By Sunday of the following week, I woke up and the rash had completely disappeared. To this point, we have no idea what caused it. It could have been an allergic reaction to something I came in contact with or it is possible that it was stress-induced. I was just relieved that everything seemed to be going ok and that I wasn't going to need to be induced at that point.

The rest of my pregnancy was pretty uneventful. I really struggled at work the last 2 weeks of my pregnancy with all of the good-natured comments of "You're still here!" and the not so good-natured ones of "My baby was late and if we had waited any longer they would have been stillborn." I had a few really bad days, but had a good friend at work that reminded me to try and enjoy these last few moments of being pregnant with my precious little girl because these are moments that I won't be able to get back. I did a lot of research on the science behind due dates and how they are calculated. Despite my ESTIMATED due date of 3/12/16, I came up with the range of 3/17-3/23 based on my LMP, the date I ovulated, and my first trimester ultrasound. I was content on waiting her out - but going to work was hard. :-P

Our sweet little girl waited until 4 days past my due date to make her debut on March 16, 2016.


I will be making a separate post about her birth story.

Paleo - Day 7

So here we are at day 7 of a Paleo diet.  It has been going well for the most part.  On day 4, I felt better than I have in a really long time. I woke up feeling like I had actually gotten a full night's rest. This is HUGE!!!  I haven't felt as desperate for sleep all week.  I am hoping the progress keeps up!  We have been very good at sticking to it, minus 2 dinners that we already had planned this week, so we are at 93% for our first week.

Since the Paleo diet is a pretty restrictive diet, a lot of people have been asking me what we can eat. I have taken a few pictures of some of our meals from the last week to demonstrate.  I have gotten most of my recipes from primallyinspired.com.  I highly recommend it, even if only for just REAL food ideas.

Our first day:  Chicken Bell Pepper Nachos and a Strawberry Breakfast Cake 

BLT Chicken Salad

We also had a Pumpkin and Pork (no bean) Chili, also from Primally Inspired that is not pictured.  It was delish, but doesn't photograph well.

Tonight, I went about Paleo-izing a meal that I've wanted to make for a long time and made it for my Daddy's Father's Day dinner.  Here is the original link.  Basically, I used coconut oil to fry the chicken in and I made a plum sauce from a Paleo book that Justin got me because we can't have any form of sugar, including artificial that would be in Smucker's jams.  Plus, since reading the plum sauce recipe, I wanted to try it.

5 Spice Chicken with Plum Sauce

I also had to get a little bit creative with our breakfast this morning.  Unfortunately, I took this picture after I had flipped my eggs over to use the yolk as part of the dressing.  It really was beautiful, but you'll just have to take my word for it.

Sunny side up eggs on top of spring mix, avocado, and tomatoes with an olive oil, balsamic vinaigrette

I am excited to see what a difference another week can make and here's hoping for 100%!  So far, I don't feel like I'm missing out on much and I think you can (largely) agree!  :-)

Tomorrow, we are having Justin's family for dinner and I am planning on making Fish Tacos with Mango Salsa Verde.  We'll substitute Boston lettuce for the tortillas, skip the rice, and have a great salad along side it.  Should be great!

Paleo - Day 1

For those of you that follow my blog, you know that I have been having a really hard time with energy for awhile now.  You may also know that I was diagnosed with Chronic Fatigue Disorder.  Chronic Fatigue Disorder is one of those diagnoses that you are almost more loathe to get because throughout the medical community, like fibromyalgia, it is controversial on whether or not it is a "real" diagnosis.  I assure you that the affects that I have felt over the last year and a half are very real and worse at sometimes than others.
After quite a few visits to the doctors that have been less than helpful, I have decided to take my health into my own hands.

You may also know that Justin has been experiencing some stomach problems for the last year or so as well with just as few answers as me.  He has even had a CT scan for kidney stones!!!  When I approached him with the idea of going paleo, he was very accepting of the idea.

So what is paleo???

A Paleo diet involves eating meat and vegetables, nuts and seeds, little starch, some fruit and no sugar.  It means no grains, legumes, dairy or alcohol. 

That may sound pretty restrictive, but I am hoping that it will help Justin and I feel better - and if we feel better... then isn't it all worth it?

I'm hoping to keep an diary for at least the first 30 days of what I am feeling and whether or not things are getting better.  .

Here is what today is looking like:

B:  Sweet potato with coconut oil and cinnamon
L:  Steak salad from Chipolte (No rice, no cheese, or sour cream)
D:  Loaded Mexican Bell Pepper Nachos

I'm feeling pretty good, though also pretty tired.  I took a long nap today, but have managed to stay up passed 10 p.m... so far so good.

If you are interested in any of the recipes I list, feel free to leave me a comment and I will direct you to it.

What It Feels Like

For the past 4 years or so, I have followed a blog, Hyberbole and a Half.  It has been some time since the girl that writes this blog has posted.  Her posts are usually beyond humorous, but tend to have some pretty strong language.  The last blog she posted was about her depression and was about a year and a half ago.  After that, she pretty much fell off the face of the earth.  Today, she finally made a new post.

Since, I was about 18-years-old, I have experienced bouts of depression, some only lasting a few weeks and others months on end.  To some people, these are pretty hard to explain.  Most of the time, I can handle  it with exercising and eating well, but there are moments when I can't even muster the motivation to try.  I started feeling this way again in January and February of this year, but have come out of it.

From October 2010 to about July 2011 was the longest time of my life.  I don't remember a lot about my life during this time.  I don't remember much of what I spent my time doing or thinking about.  I do remember feeling like I just really didn't care about anyone or anything.  I can't really explain it to people or really even to myself - until this post.  So, if you struggle with depression or know someone that does and you want some sort of insight into what exactly they are going through, you might want to read it.