Little Entitled Spoiled Brat

If you are my friend on facebook - you know that I have become the very thing that I made fun of.  

My dog is my baby.  

I worry about Fievel when I'm at work.  I worry about him when I'm at home.  I buy him toys and food, anything I think he could ever possibly need because he is my baby.

When we eat dinner, he barks at us - fully expecting that that food so nicely laid out on our plates belongs to him - because really, doesn't it???

This little dog has brought me more happiness than I could ever imagine and I wouldn't change a thing.

What a brat.

The Details

Most of you know that Justin and I met at a party almost 2 years ago.  What you may not know, is that we didn't actually talk to each other at that party because I was there on a date and Justin was the new kid, so he was just meeting a lot of people for the first time.  He still swears to this day that if he had noticed me that he would have asked for my number.  I definitely noticed him :-).
A couple of days after the party, Justin added me on Facebook since we had so many mutual friends.  He sent me a message a little while later asking me if I wanted to do something that night. I initially said no, because I had a 10k that upcoming weekend that I was training for and I was going running with my dad, but I asked for a raincheck.
The following day, Justin asked me if I had any plans again and we agreed to go down to The Gateway - and he would pick me up from my brother's place, where I was living.  Because of the streets surrounding my brother's house, there really isn't a quick and easy way to explain how to get there and once Justin showed up, he couldn't find which condo I was in, so he called me and I met him outside.  In the middle of Eric's condo complex, there is a cute little gazebo.  Justin was standing under there waiting for me and then he walked towards me and asked for a hug.  Obviously, the first date went well.

Yesterday, during the day, my sister-in-law, Nerissa, texted me to come over to hers and Eric's place to help them rearrange the living room/dining area as they just recently installed new laminate flooring.  Justin didn't get off until 6:00 from work, and Nerissa had offered to make us dinner, so I thought it would be easiest if I went over there when I got off and Justin could meet me over there later (falling right into the hands of their plans!).
I got there and we discussed their living room furniture and such and then we were just waiting for Justin.  Nerissa decided that she didn't want to cook and wanted to go to Agave instead.  I had called Justin and asked him where he was and he told me that he was just leaving work in Taylorsville, but told me that he was taking the longer way to get to Eric and Nerissa's.  I was pretty annoyed because everyone was hungry, but we continued waiting.  Justin texted me about 20 minutes later and told me that he had turned around to go get his laptop because he was going to work on our business while we were over there.  I was pretty frustrated and Eric and Nerissa started talking about leaving for Agave and having Justin meet us there.  I told them that Justin would have to drive right by the condo to go down there, so I might as well just wait for him there.  They were pretty insistent and I called Justin and told him to meet us at Agave.  We were walking out to the car - and I started heading a different way and Eric and Nerissa were heading towards the gazebo in the middle.  I turned the corner and there Justin was, down on one knee.  :-)  I started exclaiming to Nerissa and Eric, "is he really doing this?  Is he really doing this?"  and Eric just said, "Just go!"

It couldn't have been more perfect because I've mentioned to him over and over again how special that place was to me - and having Eric and Nerissa there was perfect as well because of how much my brother means to me.
As far as the ring goes, Justin designed it himself and it is beautiful.  It has one BIG diamond in the middle and then it has diamonds wrapped around it on metal, resembling a rose.  It fits my personality perfectly, but of course - he knew that.

We're looking at 12/12/12 for our wedding date since Justin and I started dating on 10/10/10.

Where I put stuff.

Ok - so for the most part I have tried to avoid sticky subjects because I like people reading my blog and I don't want it to be a place where you are going to wonder about the content.  However, this is where I put stuff.  I do have another blog out there in the internet wilderness where I put MORE stuff that I know wouldn't even be accepted here.  I don't believe in censorship in order to have people like you, but I DO believe in censorship in order to be respectful.  

On this occasion, I promise to be respectful - but I will not censor what I think.  Proceed at your own risk.

Club Unicorn

I'm sure you've read or at least seen/heard of that above link.  I think that this couple, this man, are incredibly brave and I admire them for it.  If they are as happy and fulfilled in their relationship as they claim to be, then all the power to them.  I am all for people being happy in this life.  He made this choice and the wife made her choice and I don't judge them for their choices.   I believe that it can work incredibly well for them and bring them fulfillment and happiness.

However, this blog post upsets me and this is why:

Many people will take the above blog as a blanket statement - something saying that homosexuality can be solved by an understanding partner and yourself if you're only strong enough, true enough, pure enough, etc to withstand the temptations.  It also says to people that this is the way for gay people to BE happy in this life and I do not believe that that is true.  I do, however, believe that they could be happy - given that it is their choice.
Imagine that life for you as his wife.  Maybe I'm not self-confident enough to be with a man who can't find me attractive sexually.  Also, where is the fun in that?  I agree that you can deeply love many people (man or woman), but you can only love them in a certain way.  Sometimes the lustful kind of love that comes with pure attraction is exactly what you need and that can definitely be combined with a deeper, "more pure" love.  His whole definition of their sex life offends me - to suggest that because you experience sexual attraction to your partner means that in that selfsame moment you can't experience a deep and meaningful connection is outrageous.  Anybody can share that type of love.

Lastly, (and this where we might have to agree to disagree) homosexuality is NOT wrong.  People who are gay are no more wrong in feeling an attraction to their same sex than people who are straight liking the opposite sex.   It has been found in over 450 species.  Animals who do not have the know-how to avoid so-called "temptation."  Does that make sense to you that they would be created that way?  Given no choice?

Be gay or be straight.  Just live your life and let other people live theirs.  If you think it is perverse or unnatural than don't do it.  That is your right.  Let other people have theirs.

... and we'll be back to normal programming shortly.

Lyrics

Losing love is like a window in your heart
Everybody sees you're blown apart
Everybody sees the wind blow

Thought this was pretty accurate of describing that feeling.  Had to put it somewhere to remember it.

Why I went off hormonal birth control

Probably a funny topic for a personal blog, but nobody seems to read this anyway!  Maybe some poor girl with stumble across it and it will help her out too.

For the last year and a half, I was on the NuvaRing.  I had been on the NuvaRing a few years ago and went off of it due to side effects.  My heart seemed to beat faster and hurt sometimes and I had steadily gained about 20 pounds and couldn't lose it, despite doing consistent workouts.  I opted to go for the Mirena IUD and had that for about 2 years.  I loved it.  No period, no side effects - oh wait, that was only for a little while.  After about 6 months with the Mirena I started having dyspareunia and my memory seemed to change.  I didn't gain weight on the Mirena, but I still could not lose any, despite running every other day.  In October of 2009, I had the Mirena taken out - and within 2 months had lost 20 pounds.  I maintained that weight for a little over a year being pretty active, but not really watching carefully what I ate.

Going back on the NuvaRing in December 2010 because of the ease of it - I didn't really notice any side effects at first, but after a couple of months I began to steadily gain weight despite being pretty active and eating healthier than I ever had.  Now, while I ate pretty healthy - within a couple of months of being on the NuvaRing, my portion size was out of control.  I was always hungry.  I could eat a large meal and then within 20-30 minutes be ravenous all over again.  I was also tired all the time, felt depressed, had a lot of anxiety about life.

A little over a month ago, I went to a gynecologist to speak to them about birth control options.  I was considering (and still am) going on the Paragard IUD.  It is a nonhormonal form of birth control, but like with everything there are risks.  The practitioner that I went to refused to give me one because I haven't had kids yet, despite me having an IUD before.  He told me to go to the School of Medicine up here at the U and get some samples of different birth control pills, basically telling me that no matter what I choose I'm going to be unhappy with the side effects.

After talking to Justin about all this, we decided that we're not going that route.  We understand that there is an increased risk for an unplanned pregnancy and are taking more precautions to prevent it, but he felt that it was important for me to feel normal.

I went to the other practitioner that diagnosed me with a vitamin D deficiency (answering why I'm always tired and agreeing to give me the Paragard should I decide I want it), but in the past month I have noticed a huge difference - I feel less tired (and haven't started a supplement yet) and I don't remember feeling so incredibly positive in my whole life!!! Especially for the past week, despite getting some pretty bad news, I just can't be kept down.  Life just seems to be going so well - and I feel like I'm starting to be me again.  I can eat small amounts of food and feel full for hours and life doesn't seem so cluttered, unorganized, daunting.  I can do this!

I'm still working on the "weight loss" (when I say weight loss I mean toning up, slimming down not an actual number, although a good number would be nice too - a lot of people have told me I don't need to lose weight.), but I think in time I'll get there.

I know that going the nonhormonal route can be inconvenient, but if you are having any of these side effects, try it out!  You might just enjoy life more!

How about some vitamin D?

So after about a year of being constantly tired... I finally went to the doctor and had some blood work done.  My thyroid is fine, I'm not anemic, but I'm extremely low on the good ol' vitamin D.

The first thing anyone says when I tell them this is "Why don't you spend some time out in the sun?"  With a few chuckles and snide remarks about how pasty white I am.  However, one lady at work informed me that her doctor told her that even if I were to run around naked, I still wouldn't get enough (she added that it might be fun, though.  :-P).

This weekend, Mista Fievel gets his shots and then we can let him play in the grass - so with a little sun soaking and a vitamin D supplement, hopefully in no time I will be good to go.

Are you low on Vitamin D?  Turns out, vitamin D deficiency mimics very closely that of a thyroid disorder including lots of dry patches on your skin, constant fatigue, and the inability to lose weight.  Don't be dumb like me, go get it checked out!

The Good Life

I'm pretty sure there are few things greater in life than coming home after a long day of work and having this little guy come running at you, so obviously happy you're home.

Who knew life could be so good?